Stanleee (stanleee) wrote,
Stanleee
stanleee

when shinee gets drunk; key's story; ot5; crack; pg-13

when shinee gets drunk: key's story
ot5; !bandfic; crack; pg-13; 2000 ~ words
In which Key gets drunk and partial chaos ensues among the rest.




when shinee gets drunk
texting tales from beyond the pub: key’s story




22 November 2011, Tuesday
TEXT

From Key
To Jonghyun (21.33)

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

From Jonghyun
To Onew (21.33)

help me. Key’s texting nicely.

From Key
To Jonghyun (21.35)

jonghyoooooooooon ~

From Onew
To Jonghyun (21.35)

Well it’s about time you two started getting along better.

From Jonghyun
To Key (21.35)

Whatever you think I did, I swear I didn’t do. It’s probably Minho ok.

From Key
To Jonghyun (21.36)

seeely bo y ahehehe

From Jonghyun
To Onew (21.37)

dude I’m not kidding. There’s something wrong with the kid.

From Onew
To Key (21.38)

I think you being nice is freaking Jonghyun out.

From Jonghyun
To Key (21.38)

Uh ok.

From Key
To Jonghyun, Onew (21.41)

OOOOH LEAD A come join the parteee aheheh

From Onew
To Jonghyun (21.41)

Oh my. I see what your problem is.

From Jonghyun
To Onew (21.42)

First of all, I told you so.
Second of all, it’s not my problem ok.

From Key
To Onew, Jonghyun (21.44)

boooyssssssssss where u guys @

From Onew
To Key, Jonghyun (21.45)

Key? Are you stressed? Is that it?

From Jonghyun
To Onew (21.45)

fuck I know what this is omg he’s drunk.

From Jonghyun
To Onew (21.45)

he’s really drunk omg this is priceless lmao

From Onew
To Jonghyun (21.46)

Jonghyun I suggest you not take advantage of the situation

From Jonghyun
To Key, Onew (21.46)

alright key let’s parteee aheheh ~

From Onew
To Jonghyun (21.48)

You make my life very hard.

From Onew
To Jonghyun (21.48)

But I tried ok so.

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Taemin (21.53)

omfg guys you won’t believe what I’m gna tell you.

From Taemin
To Minho, Jonghyun (21.53)

what’s omfg

From Minho
To Jonghyun, Taemin (21.55)

hyung wtf if you broke my Wii controller again …

From Jonghyun
To Taemin, Minho (21.55)

god Minho you worry about the stupidest things

From Key
To Onew (21.57)

Im in a happee plac e ((: ((:))

From Minho
To Jonghyun, Taemin (21.57)

>:((((((

From Taemin
To Minho, Jonghyun (21.58)

hello what’s omfg??

From Onew
To Jonghyun (22.00)

This is worrying. Key says he’s in a happy place.

From Key
To Jonghyun (22.00)

jonghyooooon I lo ve u aheheh

From Jonghyun
To Onew (22.01)

[FWD] jonghyooooon I lo ve u aheheh

From Jonghyun
To Onew (22.01)

No, /this/ is worrying.

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Taemin (22.02)

Embrace yourselves.

From Minho
To Jonghyun, Taemin (22.02)

hyung its probably not half as impressive as you think it is. get on with it.

From Jonghyun
To Minho (22.03)

Fuck you.

From Taemin
To Minho, Jonghyun (22.04)

Are you guys playing ignore-the-maknae again? ))):

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Taemin (22.06)

KEY IS D-R-U-N-K. Like really drunk. I’m not even kidding lmao

From Minho
To Jonghyun, Taemin (22.07)

No way. He couldn’t even handle the 0.5% alcohol strawberry slushie we exchanged for his water the other time.

From Taemin
To Jonghyun, Minho (22.07)

KEY HYUNG’S DRUNK? Hahahahhahha no way

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Taemin, Onew (22.08)

Hey I haven’t thought about how he got himself drunk at all.

From Onew
To Minho, Taemin, Jonghyun (22.09)

YOU TOLD EVERYONE?!!

From Onew
To Minho, Taemin, Jonghyun (22.09)

Jonghyun how does your mother handle you.

From Minho
To Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin (22.11)

She doesn’t, hyung. Maybe someone is toying with his phone again?

From Key
To Jonghyun
(22.13)
Y r u not reply ing me jonghyoon ))))(())”:

From Jonghyun
To Key
(22.14)
How the hell did you get yourself so drunk omg

From Key
To Jonghyun
(22.15)
prreedy pink drin k was guud ((((((:

From Taemin
To Onew, Jonghyun, Minho
(22.15)
Like the time Jonghyun hyung sent ‘I’m pregnant, mum’ to Key hyung’s mum!!! LMAO I CANNOT EVEN.

From Minho
To Taemin, Jonghyun, Onew
(22.15)
OH YEAH THAT WAS GOOD HAHAHHAHA

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Taemin, Onew
(22.16)
Thank you, thank you.

From Onew
To Jonghyun, Taemin, Minho
(22.19)
That wasn’t very funny ok I had to clean up your mess and his mum was scary ):

From Jonghyun
To Taemin, Minho, Onew
(22.21)
It’s definitely him btw.

From Jonghyun
To Taemin, Minho, Onew
(22.21)
[FWD] prreedy pink drin k was guud ((((((:

From Onew
To Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin
(22.24)
We have to find him.

From Minho
To Onew, Taemin, Jonghyun
(22.25)
Way to point out the obvious, hyung.

From Jonghyun
To Onew, Taemin, Minho
(22.25)
WHAT. Can’t we just leave him where he is. He’ll sober up by tomorrow.

From Taemin
To Onew, Jonghyun, Minho
(22.27)
hyung. he’ll kill if pictures of him drunk come out on the net tomorrow.

From Taemin
To Onew, Jonghyun, Minho
(22.27)
‘Kill’ as in we die with him.

From Minho
To Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin
(22.28)
WE HAVE TO FIND HIM.

From Onew
To Minho, Jonghyun, Taemin
(22.29)
Way to point out the obvious, Minho. Pfffft.

From Jonghyun
To Onew, Minho, Taemin
(22.30)
Argh ok whatever

From Onew
To Taemin, Minho, Jonghyun
(22.32)
Taem, you text Key.

From Taemin
To Minho, Jonghyun, Onew
(22.35)
WHAT WHY ME

From Jonghyun
To Onew, Minho, Taemin
(22.35)
He wipes your ass

From Taemin
To Onew, Minho, Jonghyun
(22.37)
UH OK WOW GOOD REASON HYUNG

From Minho
To Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin
(22.38)
Seriously hyung. Taem, just do it please.

From Taemin
To Key
(22.40)
Hyung where are you?

From Key
To Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin
(22.41)
GUUUUUUYS WE HA VE ANODER 1 WIF US TON ITE

From Taemin
To Onew, Jonghyun, Key
(22.42)
Hyung we’ll come get you if you tell us where you are!

From Key
To Taemin, Onew, Jonghyun
(22.43)
I dun wna gooooo I li ke flyin fis h

From Taemin
To Minho, Onew, Jonghyun
(22.43)
I tried.

From Onew
To Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin
(22.46)
Minho your turn.

From Minho
To Key
(22.46)
Hyung. If you don’t tell me where you are I am going to mess up your earring trays.

From Key
To Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin
(22.47)
HALP ME MEAN HO IS BA D ))))())):

From Jonghyun
To Onew, Key, Taemin
(22.48)
LMAO I CANNOT OMG MEAN HO

From Minho
To Key
(22.48)
I’m really doing it. Hurry tell me where you are.

From Key
To Jonghyun, Taemin, Onew
(22.49)
I DUN LI KE MEAN NO )))()())):

From Taemin
To Key, Onew, Jonghyun
(22.51)
omg hyung hahahahaaahahahha

From Minho
To Jonghyun, Onew, Taemin
(22.51)
Uh he’s not replying me I think he may have passed out.

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Onew, Taemin
(22.53)
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHA OMG NO

From Onew
To Minho, Taemin, Jonghyun
(22.52)
Lmao ok that’s funny hahahah

From Taemin
To Minho, Onew, Jonghyun
(22.53)
Nah hyung he’s pretty much alive right now haha

From Minho
To Onew, Jonghyun, Minho
(22.55)
Ok what the hell is going on.

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Onew, Taemin
(22.55)
Nothing meanho lmao

From Minho
To Onew, Taemin, Jonghyun
(22.56)
WHAT.

From Onew
To Jonghyun, Taemin, Minho
(22.57)
GOOD LORD I GET IT

From Taemin
To Onew, Minho, Jonghyun
(22.59)
Are you serious. You only just got it?

From Minho
To Onew, Taemin, Jonghyun
(23.00)
What is happening.

From Onew
To Key
(23.00)
Where are the flying fish, Kibum?

From Key
To Onew
(23.01)
KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
NOT KI BUM

From Onew
To Key
(23.02)
OK OMG KEY WHERE ARE THE FLYING FISH?

From Key
To Onew
(23.02)
UP STAERS ON TH E SKAYE (((()((((:

From Jonghyun
To Onew, Minho, Taemin
(23.05)
I don’t know about you guys but I’m saving our convo with Key for blackmail.

From Minho
To Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin
(23.06)
You know I’d do that too IF I HAD A BLOODY CONVO WITH HIM. WHAT DID I MISS.

From Onew
To Taemin, Jonghyun, Minho
(23.07)
I know where he is guys.

From Jonghyun
To Minho, Onew, Taemin
(23.08)
NO NO PLEASE NO CAN WE JUST LEAVE THE BOY ALONE.

From Onew
To Minho, Taemin, Jonghyun
(23.08)
Meet me outside level two of Super Junior hyungs’ dorm in ten minutes.

From Minho
To Taemin, Onew, Jonghyun
(23.10)
He’s with them??


*****


“I may be wrong but when he said flying fish in the sky, I think he meant the paper fish Donghae hyung sticks on the ceiling in his room,” Onew quickly explains when all of them are present outside Super Junior’s dorm door.

Taemin and Minho nod and ‘ahh’ in agreement and understanding while Jonghyun throws them an incredulous look.

“He could’ve been lying on the floor at the fish market and we wouldn’t know either,” Jonghyun whines. “Let’s just save ourselves the trouble and go home to sleep, guys.”

Unfortunately for him, Taemin’s outstretched arm had already knocked on the door mid-way Jonghyun’s whining. They wait patiently for about two minutes while yelling and sounds of objects clashing to the floor resound from the other side of the door.


*****


“I’ll get it, I’ll get it! Just pick the toothbrushes and cans off the –“

Sungmin cuts off mid-sentence and smiles awkwardly at the four men outside their door before holding up one finger to say ‘gimme a minute’. Onew nods slowly and the rest get slightly suspicious when Sungmin begins yelling again.

“Can you just get Kibum out please? Kyuhyun! I’m talking to you! No, don’t you dare go back in to the room!”

Jonghyun is evidently tired of standing aimlessly outside the door so he pushes it open and invites himself in. Minho and Taemin follow behind him but Onew just peeks timidly into the living room from the doorway until Jonghyun gets back out to shove him in.


*****


It’s not as messy as Jonghyun would’ve expected from his hyungs, so it disappoints him slightly. There are beer cans here and there on the floor, with an occasional toothbrush lying beside it. Minho stares at the cans and toothbrushes and then stares at Eunhyuk, who had just walked out of the bathroom in an oversized shirt and boxers.

“We didn’t have a bottle of Jack,” he shrugs. “But we did have cans of beer. Don’t ask more.”

He walks off, scratching the side of his thigh while Taemin fakes a retch and Sungmin smiles apologetically at the four of them.


*****


Finally, after about a minute of awkward silence and Jonghyun’s completely unnecessary appraisal of the ‘bowling alley’ with beer cans as bowling pins, Onew asks about Key.

“We just wanted to know if Key’s here?” Onew asks with a hopeful tilt of the head.

Jonghyun, Onew and Taemin’s phones beep loudly before Sungmin can answer. But only Jonghyun pulls out his phone to read the message.

From Key
To Jonghyun, Onew, Taemin
(23.57)
I HEAR YOOOOOOO

“He’s definitely here,” Jonghyun says flatly.


*****


Sungmin explains that Heechul had spiked Key’s pink lemonade with more vodka than necessary while walking them to Donghae’s room. He knocks and then pushes it open where the five of them see Key sprawled on the floor between two beds, laughing creepily at the paper fish on the ceiling. He lifts his head and gasps at the sight of his members in front of him.

“Yeeeew feound meeeeee,” Key drawls happily while pushing himself off the ground.

Onew and Minho instinctively move forward to support Key before he lands flat on his face. Taemin looks on helplessly and ends up finding a wet cloth to clean Key up. Jonghyun just keeps on whining about how he should’ve brought a video camera and how he was right about just going home to sleep because Key was in safe hands and more but of course, no one was listening.


*****


Onew thanks Sungmin before leaving with Key on Minho’s back and Taemin carrying Key’s haversack. They push him into the van that Manager-hyung had drove to pick them up in and all heave a sigh of relief when their butts touch the seats of the car. Sadly for them, Key isn’t their ordinary get-wasted-and-sleep-till-the-next-morning kind of guy. He was the get-wasted-and-babble-till-the-next-morning kind of guy.

All four of them groan loudly when Key starts talking inaudibly about ‘fishies’ and ‘preedy pink drinks’ and Jonghyun finds this the perfect opportunity to reinstate his constant stand.

“I told you we should’ve left him wherever he was,” Jonghyun starts. “See what happens when you don’t listen to me, see, see.”


*****


About a minute later, Jonghyun and Key are both thrown out of the van, three blocks away from the dorm.

*





my first texting fic yay lol I don't know what this is but I hope you enjoyed reading it! ^^
also I was using Ke$ha's song 'Tik Tok' for Eunhyuk's part if you didn't notice lol omg I have a horrid sense of humour /facepalms
comments are entirely appreciated ♥
Tags: !bandfic, *crossover, genre: crack, member: jonghyun, member: key, member: minho, member: onew, member: taemin, rating: pg, super junior
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